I quit my band..and I like it!

[evil1rox]

Now what? LOL

-It's funny but have you ever heard the old " never go into business with friends/family.."? Same can be said of bands.

My "best friend" seems to think acting like a 5 year old (throwing and kicking things when having a disagreement, starting the name calling.."you suck anyway" etc etc) is acceptable behavior...where as I'm completely fed up with that crap.

I decided the very best thing to do would be to finish the next 2 gigs that are booked and then..>bye bye< before we damage our friendship any further.

It's tragicly funny because I've invested a lot of time into this band..and all I feel is relieved!

Anyway.. just curious if anyone else has experienced the same/felt the same. (-and yes..you know I'm already starting another band! LOL)

E

[thebaron]

I've been there.
A friend and I started a band. He played guitar, tried to write and sang poorly. I co-wrote with him and taught him how to develop songs. We started a band with him singing, agreeing that we'd eventually get a good singer. We started gigging with a temporary bass player then found a bass player who also happened to be an incredible singer (now in an up and coming band out in l.a. with several tv appearances). Well, even my friend's girlfriend at a sound check said, "oh my god, he's awesome, he has to be your lead singer!". My friends respose was, quote, "No, I want it to be all about me." Well that was wrong on so many levels. I didn't worry about his ego previously because I was doing it all for fun but he was taking all the credit for songwriting and apparantly making it HIS band as if we were the support. (His delusional mind was actually planning for royalties and was pre-emptively cutting me out and blowing off the songs that I had written without him) He had a delusion of making it regardless of his mediocre level of talent and inability to write a complete song on his own. I was actually fine with that when things were fun but, when he made the band suffer because of his own ego, the rest of us quickly bowed out. That's maybe ok if the guy is so talented that you can ride his coat tails but, when the guy is mediocre at best and needs the band to be complete or adequate, it gets rediculous. Ultimately myself and the other guitarist started a cover band. We needed a bass player and my friend missed playing so he begged us to let him play bass in the cover band which we agreed...and for the record he never sang for us.

I have to say, it definitely took a toll on the friendship. I think it sank in more once we were finished and I thought back on all the transparent but sneaky steps he took in an attempt to usurp all the fictitious pipe dream royalties of our songs.

[stickinthemud]

Similar but different story. I met a guy who had done a fairly decent CD with some other musicians - a few originals and and several re-writes of the "classic rock" genre with Christian and Christian-ized lyrics. Fun stuff, and right up my alley. Long story short, after about 2 dozen rehearsals over the period of a year, we had not landed any gigs, nor did it look much like we would. Not for lack of talent, but for lack of inititiative on the part of the band leader. Also, he did not feel we were up to performance standards. From my point of view, it was the leader who was least ready - often forgetting lyrics, flubbing lead passages, that sort of thing. My business was not going too well, so I announced I would only be able to meet for rehearsal once a month unless there we had a gig to prepare for. The leader said they wanted to go to two rehearsals a week and get eveything down before looking for a gig. Although I did not say so, I thought this was silly for two reasons - 1. We were playing well enough as a band - individual rehearsal was what was needed, and as far as I could tell, I was the only one doing that. 2. We had not even been able to hold to a weekly schedule with any consistency. I had no idea how he thought we could do bi-weeklies.

Anyway, I wished them well and have not heard from them since. I guess the leader, even with his singing and song-writing talent, did not have sufficient initiative to land us a gig. I can't say I was particularly relieved at leaving this band, but on the other hand, I suffer no regrets. Just something that did not work out...

[MisterMR]

Anyway.. just curious if anyone else has experienced the same/felt the same. (-and yes..yo knwo I'm already starting another band! LOL)

Oh, heavens, YES...!

Well... not quite the same... but yeah, I was happy to get out of this one:-

I played in this band, once upon a time (a long time ago)... great 4-piece jazz funk band. They had a brilliant keyboard player, a top guitarist/vocalist, a pretty handy drummer... and me as their bass player. The band name and the individuals within's real names will be witheld to protect innocent parties...

It was all going great... a few classic covers... a couple of originals... just a great sound. It was a really fun environment to play in.

And then there was this one gig. The LAST gig.

From my initial perspective, I was just playing this groove... trying to look cool (as you do when you're playing bass and not very good at it)... when I noticed that the drummer (who shall from this point on, be known as 'Drummie') was not delivering his normal 'tight' style. He wasn't keeping particularly good time - which was weird for him - and was just hitting his drums harder and harder. So I glance over and notice that he's plainly not got his focus on the job at hand. He's staring intently at the guitarist... forehead creased... eyebrows seriously heading towards the bridge of his nose... looking kinda furious.

So, I look at the guitarist (for current story-telling purposes shall henceforth be known as 'Guitarie'), who's playing and singing away... and looking at this girl (we shall call her 'Girlie'... yeah, that works...) who's dancing away in the audience... with a big smile on his face and being all... well, you know... 'gyratory'... like guitarists can be known to do.

Now being the 'front guy' in the band you kinda think "Well, yeah, sure..." but there was something a little 'extra' about this particular stage-crowd engagement. It just seemed a bit to... familiar.

Regardless... I'm like... "okay... something's up with Drummie... but Guitarie's having a good time and it's all holding together so..."

And then it happended...

All of a sudden... Drummie launches over his kit... his arms outstretched... hands splayed with only the tips of his thumbs touching... aiming for Guitarie's neck...

They both fall to the ground... the stage goes thump... Guitarie's Strat comes loose from it's strap and falls into the audience... mic stands tip over to accompanying feedback screams... the crowd goes wild...

They roll around the stage floor... over footswitches, leads, and wedge monitors... fists randomly popping out and rapidly flying back in this rumble of musician close-combat...

'Keyboardie' and myself are in part shock and part 'auto pilot'... gallantly playing on, but with our mouth's and eyes wide open... like the string quartet continuing to play while the Titanic continued to sink.

I laugh about it now... but looking back, it was just dreadful. A foot went through the front of Guitarie's combo, Drummie's kick drum was booted over... all his cymbals crashed to the ground... microphone feedback was still making an appearance.

Keyboardie at that point should've been playing a fast 'Honky Tonk' piano ditty to the events but being the pro he was, just stuck to his 'Rhodes' preset and finished the song we were playing...

The 'sound man', various people from the audience and Keyboardie eventually separated the brawling pair.

Girlie was nowhere to be seen.

Turns out the reason for this on-stage outburst (after broken amps and kit were cleared from the stage and intellegence was gathered based on the rather shouty expletives that flew back and forth between Guitarie and Drummie), that simply, said-Girlie was (once) Drummie's girlfriend... who (no longer was because she) was being shagged by Guitarie. Or something like that. Apparently, there were 'bets' and 'flips of coins' involved... I don't know. The story started to get more complicated the more I tried to find out.

And they were all best friends... once.

Anyway. In the end, I left that band. And, like you, was relieved... basically because I like my bass amp... and nothing would've hacked me off more than some guitarist sticking his boot through the front of it due to some 'love triangle' fiasco...

[grog]

EIR:

You should have known that your post would unleash legions of "here's my crappy band story" posts.

All of which are highly entertaining and all of which hit waaaaay too close to home.

Congrats on the breakup. Seriously. That relief you're feeling says it all.

https://www.myspace.com/rubberuniverse

[MisterMR]

EIR:

You should have known that your post would unleash legions of "here's my crappy band story" posts.

Absolutely. I'm looking forward to this post growing with some real hilarious 'busted band' gems...

[Junius]

..and all I feel is relieved!

That is the best indication that it was the right decision.

[slyone]

More of a "what happened after I was gone" story that I still enjoy several years later. Its not how a band broke up, but how it changed and imploded on itself, much to my delight. (ego check )

I played in a cover band at the time. Two guitars one of which did decent vocals and the other passable. We had a female vocalist with a great voice but hadn't learned to pace herself. After one set her voice was usually gone so that's how we used her, one set. The guitarists did the other two, she stepped in occasionally. We had a skilled bass player but no vocals, and me on drums with no vocal talent either. We were starting to get just a little regional notice, were getting some invitations to some significant venues. We got booked a few months in advance of an very distinctive performance, one that would involve radio airplay (university radio station).

Because some of use were university students at the time, myself included, it was sometimes difficult for me to make all the practices on time. I didn't worry too much about it because the two guitarists usually spent a lot of time working stuff out between themselves with me sitting idle. I thought wrong. The principal guitarist was the leader and had high aspirations, and I was apparently hindering that. I got canned.

There had been a hanger-on drummer (high school age I think) that worked with the guitarist coming and listening to rehearsals. He became my replacement. He was not very skilled, inconsistent tempos, every fill played to the max', etc. He was a double bass player that had yet to learn how to play a single bass. About a month later the other guitarist, a friend that I played in previous bands with, and play with presently on occasion, left the band. He wasn't replaced. I don't recall if the bassist stuck it out much longer or not, but I think he left shortly after that.

However, the radio gig arrives, and they perform. It was awful. The on air staff tried to be polite, but it was difficult. This was a big, well advertised event that was being broadcast. A major campus affair of a major university, a weekend long dancathon. The rest of the bands were quite talented. My former band was horrible in comparison, or by nearly any standard really. I didn't listen to the gig originally but my guitarist friend did, and recorded it. I listened to a part of it a couple of months later and almost fell on the floor in laughter. I don't know if they were booed off the stage, but it would have been appropriate, even with personal feelings aside. It hurt in some respects because the band's name was still the same, and we had been starting to get attention.

As I said, more of a revenge story, but one I enjoy a bunch of years later.

Lyle

[Fullback32]

E....definitely been there. My best friend and I started a band back in 78 when I was a Junior in high school. We stayed together for five years. After it all fell apart in 83, well, we haven't spoken to each other since. There's a lot to it and don't have time to get into it all, but in a nutshell, his ego (yes, lead guitar player) and drug use was the main reason...it cost us a recording contract and getting on what was called the Agora circuit back in the day.

[evil1rox]

Luckily my best friend and I have remained that.

We agreed that being in a band together is not in our best interest. I'm staying on til a replacement is found (singer) then...

Starting my own band which I shall rule with an Iron Fist!

-It's comforting to hear that I'm not the only one that has gone through this though. Please feel free to share more fellas! It has helped inspire me!

Thanks for sharing guys.
(FB...you should find out what became of that dude...and beat the P!$$ out of him!!!)

E

[Fullback32]

(FB...you should find out what became of that dude...and beat the P!$$ out of him!!!)

E

Hehe...it's on my "Bucket List".

[gingerbaker]

Oh, heavens, YES...!

Well... not quite the same... but yeah, I was happy to get out of this one:-

I played in this band, once upon a time (a long time ago)... great 4-piece jazz funk band. They had a brilliant keyboard player, a top guitarist/vocalist, a pretty handy drummer... and me as their bass player. The band name and the individuals within's real names will be witheld to protect innocent parties...

It was all going great... a few classic covers... a couple of originals... just a great sound. It was a really fun environment to play in.

And then there was this one gig. The LAST gig.

From my initial perspective, I was just playing this groove... trying to look cool (as you do when you're playing bass and not very good at it)... when I noticed that the drummer (who shall from this point on, be known as 'Drummie') was not delivering his normal 'tight' style. He wasn't keeping particularly good time - which was weird for him - and was just hitting his drums harder and harder. So I glance over and notice that he's plainly not got his focus on the job at hand. He's staring intently at the guitarist... forehead creased... eyebrows seriously heading towards the bridge of his nose... looking kinda furious.

So, I look at the guitarist (for current story-telling purposes shall henceforth be known as 'Guitarie'), who's playing and singing away... and looking at this girl (we shall call her 'Girlie'... yeah, that works...) who's dancing away in the audience... with a big smile on his face and being all... well, you know... 'gyratory'... like guitarists can be known to do.

Now being the 'front guy' in the band you kinda think "Well, yeah, sure..." but there was something a little 'extra' about this particular stage-crowd engagement. It just seemed a bit to... familiar.

Regardless... I'm like... "okay... something's up with Drummie... but Guitarie's having a good time and it's all holding together so..."

And then it happended...

All of a sudden... Drummie launches over his kit... his arms outstretched... hands splayed with only the tips of his thumbs touching... aiming for Guitarie's neck...

They both fall to the ground... the stage goes thump... Guitarie's Strat comes loose from it's strap and falls into the audience... mic stands tip over to accompanying feedback screams... the crowd goes wild...

They roll around the stage floor... over footswitches, leads, and wedge monitors... fists randomly popping out and rapidly flying back in this rumble of musician close-combat...

'Keyboardie' and myself are in part shock and part 'auto pilot'... gallantly playing on, but with our mouth's and eyes wide open... like the string quartet continuing to play while the Titanic continued to sink.

I laugh about it now... but looking back, it was just dreadful. A foot went through the front of Guitarie's combo, Drummie's kick drum was booted over... all his cymbals crashed to the ground... microphone feedback was still making an appearance.

Keyboardie at that point should've been playing a fast 'Honky Tonk' piano ditty to the events but being the pro he was, just stuck to his 'Rhodes' preset and finished the song we were playing...

The 'sound man', various people from the audience and Keyboardie eventually separated the brawling pair.

Girlie was nowhere to be seen.

Turns out the reason for this on-stage outburst (after broken amps and kit were cleared from the stage and intellegence was gathered based on the rather shouty expletives that flew back and forth between Guitarie and Drummie), that simply, said-Girlie was (once) Drummie's girlfriend... who (no longer was because she) was being shagged by Guitarie. Or something like that. Apparently, there were 'bets' and 'flips of coins' involved... I don't know. The story started to get more complicated the more I tried to find out.

And they were all best friends... once.

Anyway. In the end, I left that band. And, like you, was relieved... basically because I like my bass amp... and nothing would've hacked me off more than some guitarist sticking his boot through the front of it due to some 'love triangle' fiasco...

That's classic! Drummer leaps over kit choking guitarist over a girlfriend.! I love it!

I do find it kinda hard to believe, though. A drummer couldn't take a lead guitarist?? That'll be the day.

['lectric drumma]

E....definitely been there. My best friend and I started a band back in 78 when I was a Junior in high school. We stayed together for five years. After it all fell apart in 83, well, we haven't spoken to each other since. There's a lot to it and don't have time to get into it all, but in a nutshell, his ego (yes, lead guitar player) and drug use was the main reason...it cost us a recording contract and getting on what was called the Agora circuit back in the day.

Truly a sad story if you ask me...


Stijn

[drumdevil9]

Well when my band broke up I was both relieved and sad. I like and miss gigging. But some aspects of it are great. Like now when I write a song every part doesn't have to go through a damn commitee...

[stickinthemud]

Starting my own band which I shall rule with an Iron Fist!

Well, then, you need to read my guide for drummers, copied below from a recent thread:

Be sure to point out, immediately and frequently, the mistakes made by the other members of the band. They particularly value the opinion of the drummer because of the respect they have for him given his (or her) awesome musical prowess, which they instinctively know overshadows their meager "talents". Do not think that there is any point too insignificant or petty - they long for your guidance, and it will only enrich their ecstasy should there ever be an occasion for you to praise their performance. (I know - ludicrous. What was I thinking?) This goes for your sound man, road crew, promotional, and managerial staff as well. Learn to do this frequently and with the proper amount of condescension. Remember, there is no wrong time to do this. A particularly harsh critiscism delivered in front of the offender's peers or loved ones is extremely effective, and will only enhance that person's desire to please you, thus improving the performance and morale of the band as a whole. Some particularly useful phrases would be:

-Was that your solo, or are you just off your meds?
-Who taught you that lick, your grandmother? (Delivered with a wink, the double-entendre will be unmistakeable)
-The unique timbre of your voice reminds me of my youthful visits to my uncle's PIG FARM!. Come to think of it, so does your personal odor!
-Your bass works seems a little sluggish tonight. Perhaps it would help if you started by cleaning the dried Pablum from your fingers. Note - this would work for your keyboard player as well. Just be sure to wait five minutes before using it again so it will be fresh to your bandmates.

Other useful hints:

-Keep a large supply of sticks on hand at rehearsals and performances. These are extremely useful for getting the attention of other band members when they screw up. Reserve the broken ones for delivering a more "pointed" reminder.
-Assemble and enforce a duty roster so that every band member will know exactly what is expected of them at all times. Female vocalists should be selected for moving the larger and heavier items so as to build up the "muscles" on their chests. Be sure to make disparaging remarks to them about their present state of endowment to spur them on to greater "acheivement" in this area.
-If you need pointers on how to maintain order and timeliness amongst the band members, study the managerial techniques among the officers of the Third Reich, and Musolini's motivational innovations in public transportation in Italy during World War II.
-Frequent spitting is considered manly, and will win you the respect of band minions and fans alike. When spitting into a crowd, be sure to strike the women standing next to large muscular men with tattoos and leather jackets. Winking at them (the men or the women) will insure laughter and frivolity for all.

Suggested Reading:

-Mein Kampf - Adolf Hitler
-Winning Through Intimidation - Robert J. Ringer
-The Prince - Niccolò Machiavelli
-MIND CONTROL FOR DUMMIES - Iona Miller. Don't let the title throw you. This will work for geniuses like yourself as well.

Finally, if anyone ever questions your authority, here's a dialogue guaranteed to stop such pointless dissent in its tracks:

Look the person in the eyes and take a deep breath. Exhale, smile a bit too broadly, and say, "Well _____ (being sure to mispronounce their name), what would you suggest?" Feel free to giggle a bit as you say this.

Listen to their idiotic response for as long as it takes for them to completely run out of mindless drivel. While you wait, it may help to think of something more entertaining, like, say, washing your socks, or different ways to mispronounce their name. When you notice no more noise coming from their mouth, just lay your hand gently on their shoulder and say, "You know ______, (see above advice regarding names), something tells me that's just not the way Charles Manson would have done it." Smile and move on to something of genuine importance.

Employing these techniques will assure you of a long tenure with whatever band is lucky enough to have you as their drummer (thus their leader). Now, go show them who's BOSS!