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Humorous rules for new drummers

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  • Humorous rules for new drummers

    Inspired by Nutha Jason's serious thread on the topic of what "rules" you would suggest for fledgling drummers, I thought it would be fun to come up with some poster-worthy rules and truisms for new drummers or about drumming in general.

    Stuff like:

    -Never attempt the double-crossover with your feet.
    -Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord Neal Peart in vain.
    -Don't go apartment-hunting with a pair of drumsticks in your back pocket.
    -Know that as soon as you make it clear to the world that you wish only to explore new and uncharted realms of percussive creativity, you will be asked to join an Abba tribute band.

    Others?

  • #2
    Originally posted by stickinthemud View Post
    ...-Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord Neal Peart in vain...
    Neal WHO?
    Hart Pro 6.4 (Hammered Chrome), Roland TD-8, Gibraltar Throne w/ Backrest, Tama Iron Cobra Bass Pedal, ALTEC A7-500 "Voice of the Theatre" Speaker/Horn System with Sunn Concert Slave amp and lot of other audio stuff, Sony MDR-7506 Headphones, Zildjian DipSticks - and Czech Skorpian, Heckler & Koch MP5, etc Submachine Guns to stick out the window behind my kit for some quite unique fills...

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    • #3
      - 'Chopsticks on bottles' ability does not a good drummer make - it's like singing in the shower.

      - More cowbell.

      - SIZE does matter

      - QUANTITY over quality.

      - The band always follows the drummer, so feel free to mix up the tempo a little if you get bored, the band will always thank you for it later.



      http://www.vdrums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41835

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      • #4
        Oh and...

        - tap your feet at work, your hands when you are driving... don't listen to others, it doesn't really annoy them.


        (It's a heavy dose of Sarcasm Side Salad today folks - sorry).



        http://www.vdrums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41835

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        • #5
          - Drummers are inherently the Designated Driver of any band.

          - Read all contracts carefully, as you are probably the only member of the band who can read.

          - If you're looking to be a musician in order to scope out members of the opposite sex: be prepared that all your bandmates can watch gyrating butts on the dance floor, but the only butts you (the drummer) see in motion are your bandmates'.

          - If playing in a country band, at a country venue, brushes also make excellent flyswatters.

          - Never wear loose-fitting short-shorts without underwear when seated behind electronic drums.
          Hart Pro 6.4 (Hammered Chrome), Roland TD-8, Gibraltar Throne w/ Backrest, Tama Iron Cobra Bass Pedal, ALTEC A7-500 "Voice of the Theatre" Speaker/Horn System with Sunn Concert Slave amp and lot of other audio stuff, Sony MDR-7506 Headphones, Zildjian DipSticks - and Czech Skorpian, Heckler & Koch MP5, etc Submachine Guns to stick out the window behind my kit for some quite unique fills...

          Comment


          • #6
            Don't go and ask for help on your favorite drum forum without using the search engine first!
            Last edited by TriggerThis; 12-04-08, 08:17 AM.
            TD-17, TD-6, SPD-6, E-mu Pro/cussion, Simmons SDE Expander

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            • #7
              TD-6v, (3x)CY-8, (4x)PD-8's (2x)PD-6's (1x)PD-80R (1)KD-8 http://www.cstoliker.com/Drums/

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              • #8
                Sometimes music doesn't need any drums at all.

                And that's OK.

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                • #9
                  Just stupid random stuff that comes out of my brain. ii
                  --------------------------------------------------------

                  If a point in a song is too quiet, always add a drum fill. Everyone likes that.

                  Have a contest with the base player at the end of every song to see who will make noise last.

                  If at first you don't keep time, just make it up as you go.

                  Trust me, YOU will be the guy that is still loading equipment while the other guys are at the bar.

                  Cymbals really can be used for a Frisbee... honest.

                  Random ghost notes are ALWAYS a good thing.

                  Keep some shish-ka-bobs on your Hi-hat in case you get hungry while you play.



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                  • #10
                    - Technique is for the other guys who can't play loud and fast
                    - When in doubt - Boom Tat, Boom-Boom Tat (even in 3/4 and 6/8)
                    - Study a martial art so you can kick the butts of anyone who says you are a bad drummer.
                    sigpic

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by paladin View Post

                      If a point in a song is too quiet, always add a drum fill. Everyone likes that.

                      Have a contest with the bass player at the end of every song to see who will make noise last.
                      Lol!

                      Whenever the singer makes a sensitive point about the next song, or about his deep relationship with the audience or whatever, do a "rimshot" (not a rimshot as drummers know it, but the ol' Catskills comedy rimshot -- you know, "bu dum bum")

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                      • #12
                        1. Know that whatever your skills might be, as a drummer that thou shalt be looked down upon by all other musicians. It shall be perceived by them that drums are intended to be struck, and that anybody is able to strike them with intent to make wondrous sound.

                        2. It shall also be perceived that drums and especially cymbals, as they are intended to be struck, are impervious to any and all damage regardless of the intensity of the strike. It is thus impossible to damage them. Therefore cousin Danny or girlfriend Darla shall be able to play them with no risk to personal equipment. (also cousin Danny and girlfriend Darla will be considered capable as a drummer until such time that they prove they are not -- see rule #1)
                        and the jukebox plays..... !! (the Nails - Home of the Brave )

                        E-set : TDW-20, 2 up & 2 down, VH-12, 6 cymbals (5 CY14, 1 CY15), 2 Pintech Dingbats all on a Gibraltar rack, thru a Simmons DA200S
                        VExpressions Gigging Kits & Top 50 Drummers #1

                        A-set : 1968 Ludwig Hollywood in Burgundy Sparkle

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                        • #13
                          Sometimes drums don't need music at all.....

                          Always play that big loud cymbal crash on the singer's favourite note

                          Always start counting the next song in when the singer is having a nice moment with the audience

                          And always always bring the band back in a couple of bars before the finish of the guitar solo - the guitarist really like that because they get sick of soloing

                          Have a louder amp than anyone else

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Charly View Post
                            Oh and...

                            - tap your feet at work, your hands when you are driving...
                            +1

                            The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 10 characters.


                            My eDrums thread


                            My acoustic drums

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                            • #15
                              Stop That Bloody Tapping

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