Wrote another song.

[KapperDog]

This is our first take on this song. I wrote the lyrics and Bill threw a couple chords onto it.

He got the lyrics backwards and did verse 2 before verse 1 but, like I said, it's a first take.

I sure would love to hear comments.

The song is called, Don't Invite Your Nightmare.

Our first song, Hard Hearted Lover is on the third take. I suppose around the 100th take, we may have a real song. LOL

Check out Nightmare and give me your opinion on how I can add some smooth drums.

As always, thanks for your comments.

http://profile.myspace.com/beerandchipsband

Click on the "Don't Invite Your Nightmare" link.

[Michael Render]

Definitely a very Neil Young-ish vibe. The mix is kind of hard to listen to. The vocal should be much more present. It also suffers from a lack of variety. The parts are very similar. You got to throw us some hooks and curves to keep us listening.

[KapperDog]

We also thought the vocals should be more prominent for a song like this. I also think he should sing it an octave lower than he does.

Another instrument would add some variety. It's only me on drums and him on a rhythm guitar. A lead guitar or keyboard would add a lot.

We certainly welcome anyone to lay their lead over this and re-post it.

We have been searching for more players for almost a year and we can't seem to find anyone.

Thanks for the comments.

[LordLucan]

I had to turn the sound up a lot to hear it properly. The volume seems to keep cutting in and and out. I guess some kind of mic issues are happening there?

I like the odd musical phrase, but the song just doesn't seem to go anywhere yet. So not great yet but has potential for improvment?

[KapperDog]

I just listened to it and I didn't have any problems with it cutting out. Might be your internet connection or MySpace right at that time. Try it again and let me know.

Great comments guys. Nothing worse that hearing "Oh Yeah, it's great man" (when it really isn't) or getting an email that says im a suxor dood who cant rite songs. Maybe I need a power jewel. LOL

I agree that the structure sux on this version. Our first take usually sux. He hates when I post things before they are done but, I like to get comments and consider them when making changes.

I'll post a new version in a week or so.

Thanks again.

[LordLucan]

I don't mean it was completely cutting out, just that the instruments/singing parts were increasing in decreasing in volume. A bit like if you do karaoke but keep forgetting to keep the microphone close to the mouth?