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**Jack_** · 04-22-08, 04:43 PM

I think at 14 he should be okay. My son just turned 13 and I'd probably take him.

We have an outdoor festival called SummerFest that hosts a lot of bands and is a fairly safe environment. Something like that would be a good option.

**dschrammie** · 04-22-08, 05:02 PM

Yeah, if he keeps his eyes open, he'll probably see some drug usage...but he may even think it's just someone smoking a cigarette. Flashing...eh, I don't think you'll see much if any of that, and I'd doubt you'd have to worry about fights.
I think it's good that you go with him...I went to my first concert at 15...Jimmy Page. Saw/smelled plenty of drugs, but that was the worst of it.

**TNT** · 04-22-08, 05:20 PM

I think it will be great to take him! You can help cultivate his love and appreciation for music... and that's a wonderful thing for a parent to do for their child!

What he may see or smell is a drop in the bucket compared to everything else out there in the world, on the internet, and on television. He already knows that there are different people out there. Good and bad. What matters is how you raise him and the values and behavior you instill in him.

Besides... it's a Heart/Journey/Cheap Trick concert. The majority of the audience will be your/our age, so it should be pretty darn tame.

My father took me to see Bad Company when I was only eight. That was back in the 70's. I wasn't traumatized and I didn't turn out so bad.

I say take him and have a great time! He'll thank you and remember it for the rest of his life.

**silverdragonsnd** · 04-22-08, 06:37 PM

Originally posted by McGruff View Post

I ask this question, only to get a general idea of your opinions pros/cons...
The decision is ultimately up to me and my wife..

My 14 year-old (son) has developed a love for the guitar and practices "all the time." Concert season is approaching and Heart/Journey/Cheap Trick will be in Oklahoma City in July. I'm considering taking him, but have mixed feelings... We are very conservative in our home (seldom drink and never condone any drug use), but my entire family loves music and I think he would be blown away watching a live show. My obvious concerns: IDIOTS.. FIGHTS.. DRUG USE.. The show is outdoors so that only complicates the matter, ie.. FLASHING, ETC... His mother and I are swaying toward the UNSURE vote, but I also think it would completely energize his love for music and the guitar.. Safety is our number one priority followed closely by indencency...

Any opinions?

One opinion is the following, based on what may be seen. Unfortunately these things exist in the world. If he's going to see it, he can do so with you. maybe you can create a dialogue and have an open discussion about the matter and a bonding moment. Of course we know the music will be good so that is a huge plus. Ultimately though I think you need trust your gut feeling as a parent. My 2 cents anyways! Good luck with whatever decision you reach.

**ghostman** · 04-22-08, 06:55 PM

Originally posted by McGruff View Post

I ask this question, only to get a general idea of your opinions pros/cons...
The decision is ultimately up to me and my wife..

My 14 year-old (son) has developed a love for the guitar and practices "all the time." Concert season is approaching and Heart/Journey/Cheap Trick will be in Oklahoma City in July. I'm considering taking him, but have mixed feelings... We are very conservative in our home (seldom drink and never condone any drug use), but my entire family loves music and I think he would be blown away watching a live show. My obvious concerns: IDIOTS.. FIGHTS.. DRUG USE.. The show is outdoors so that only complicates the matter, ie.. FLASHING, ETC... His mother and I are swaying toward the UNSURE vote, but I also think it would completely energize his love for music and the guitar.. Safety is our number one priority followed closely by indencency...

Any opinions?

Take him! My first concerts were with my friends at 16+, and I can tell you that kids go wild w/o the 'rents around. I am now coughover30cough. I took a neighbor kid to a Rush concert a few years back (he was 15) and while I am not as conservative as his parents were, I basically took him, and didn't point out the 'bad things' going on around us. We talked about the music, and the crowd. There was some 'stuff' going on around us, and when he asked, I made sure that we discussed it. That's what is important, not shielding them, but discussing it. If they don't know about something, how can they know it is bad or good? Communicate, and the concert should be fine..

And, as said earlier, it's a tamer crowd. I've taken kids to Disturbed, and that was tougher, the Rush one was easier, and Heart/ journey / cheap trick would be CAKE.. I also got to be known as the neighborhood chaperon. Parent's hated the kids music, I dug it. I got free tickets to take the kids. All got back safely and with no issues, and the parents didn't worry - that much.

**jammin777** · 04-22-08, 07:00 PM

to me it would depend on the band playing and there influence. cheap trick was my first concert at 17. journey and heart are also ok in my book. (saw them both) i would take my 14 year old, as long as the bands are respectable your son will have a blast. as far as the drugs in the air, it would be a good time to talk it over with him on the way home letting him know that it is wrong.

**sshu** · 04-22-08, 07:34 PM

Originally posted by silverdragonsnd View Post

One opinion is the following, based on what may be seen. Unfortunately these things exist in the world. If he's going to see it, he can do so with you. maybe you can create a dialogue and have an open discussion about the matter and a bonding moment. Of course we know the music will be good so that is a huge plus. Ultimately though I think you need trust your gut feeling as a parent. My 2 cents anyways! Good luck with whatever decision you reach.

FWIW - I think this is great insight from a parental perspective. A lot of kids start seeing this stuff in the early teen years (regardless of parents), and there can be a benefit to being able to freely talk about this with your son if the need arises. Additionally in my experience, a lot of the real (dangerous) pressures and influences come from a kid's peers and not necessarily from just seeing people at a concert - the upshot if that there's probably little (if any material) incremental risk you are exposing your son to by bringing him to concert. And the benefits of getting kids hooked on music at an early age are tremendous ...

But as silverdragonsnd said, trust your gut feeling as a parent, especially after you've weighed the pros and cons rationally. You probably have a better idea about how easily your son is influenced, by who, etc.

Disclosure: Went to my first concert (Rush) at around 15-16 yrs old. I don't take drugs even after seeing/smelling it at the concert. Generally a light drinker (wine mostly) - wine drinking picked up much later in life, and it had nothing to do with the concerts I attended.

Steve

**McGruff** · 04-22-08, 09:23 PM

I appreciate the replies and comments.. I absolutely agree with each post listed above and I agree peer pressure and the world as we know it today holds many challenges for those of us trying to raise kids properly..

There's just something about the experience and sounds of a live show that you simply can't articulate.. It has to be experienced and witnessed.. I know for me personally, I can go to a concert and I'm "renewed" to play for months.. Kind of a re-charge, so to speak.

Thanks for the responses.. I'll keep ya posted on my decision and if we choose to take him, I'll give ya full details of how it all went..

**RolandDrummer** · 04-22-08, 09:30 PM

Bret Michaels?

Age 10 to Bret Michaels (Rock of Love)?? It's indoors, but I expect that the girls in the crowd might be a bit more wild than at a Journey concert, etc...

I'm sure he would remember it for the rest of his life.

**dave_b** · 04-22-08, 10:16 PM

I was 10. I'm an old guy so my first concerts were McCartney and Wings, Queen, KISS in their heyday, etc. The shows I saw in my formative years (and Cheap Trick was one of them) changed me forever... in a good way.

DEFINITELY take him. There isn't nearly as much drug use as there used to be. Count on smelling it from time to time, but $9 beer is the bigger crime these days. Just guide him as you always have and he'll be fine.

By the way, don't get there late. When Cheap Trick is hitting on all cylinders, they're fantastic.

**Boingo** · 04-23-08, 03:01 AM

My Dad drove me an a few friends to Philly to see Crosby Stills Nash & Young. I was 15 at the time. He dropped us off and picked us up (while he visited his Mother). It was our first concert (late 60's). There was some blatent pot use. I didn't do any because he raised me right. It was one of those experiences I'll never forget and my friends and I were forever thankful he took us. I'll never forget that concert.

I think you are being a bit overly concerned. I'm sure he already knows what can go on at these events, has witnessed some drug use and wild/lewd behavior. My God man, Oklahoma does have MTV with Spring Break and Girls Gone Wild commercials don't they?

You can't shelter them from this and trying to do so is a waste of time and also counter productive in my book.

What transformation do you think is going to take place while you are there? The way I look at it, you bring them up with certain values and instill responsibility and integrity (and it sounds like you have done that). When it's time to cut the leash, you do it gradually, give them a short talk to make sure they know that you are aware of what's going on and that you trust them to do the right thing (guilt trip 101). Then you give them an opportunity to develop trust between you and them.

Make no mistake about it, they will fail you at some point. Hopefully it won't be anything too drastic. When it happens, you deal with it and you give them another chance. My son will soon be 19. I am proud of him because he is a good kid and generally makes the right choices. But I have had times like the 1 am call where he says he and his cousin were at a party, both drinking, she was drunk and passed out, he was driving her car, 50 miles from home, took a wrong turn landing him in another state and he didn't have a clue how to get home. Fun stuff like that

. He learned from it, you trust them and you move on.

Take him and have a great time. You can't avoid life.

**mystic fred** · 04-23-08, 06:28 AM

IDIOTS.. FIGHTS.. DRUG USE.. . FLASHING, ETC...
...and that's just the band!!

seriously folks...

14 is a good age for a first gig - i would consider an indoor venue first if you're concerned - there they will have security staff present searching for drugs or offensive weapons on entry, and no smoking within the venue. you must accept some idiotic behaviour at a gig, though fights were a common incident at gigs in the 70's i haven't seen any lately, but they won't all sit there like dummies!

**steve.pie** · 04-23-08, 07:13 AM

I say go for it ...... it will encourage his love of music. The production of these modern shows is great to see ..... i work in the pro-audio industry and have seen, from sidestage, some of those acts mentioned ( my Father used to insure all the vehicles for Queen, - i have a very funny anecdote about him visiting my Dad's office in London ! - inc their personal collections..... Roger Taylors is among the best in the world ! ) and even after 35 yrs of live gigs i still get the goose-bumps when the house lights go down and i hear that intro drone..............yes there will be some idiots there, but the other 99.9% will be music lovers there to have a good time. Go / enjoy / bond.

**dave_b** · 04-23-08, 09:39 AM

Originally posted by steve.pie View Post

( my Father used to insure all the vehicles for Queen, - i have a very funny anecdote about him visiting my Dad's office in London ! - inc their personal collections..... Roger Taylors is among the best in the world ! )

As a longtime fan, I would enjoy as much detail on this as you care to provide on this.

A PM is maybe better?

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