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You're too old to play gigs when...

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  • You're too old to play gigs when...

    I'm starting to relate to a couple

    1. It's become more important to find room on stage for your fan than your amp.

    2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.

    3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.

    4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub

    5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along to most of your set list

    6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie

    7. You lost the directions to the gig

    8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings

    9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage

    10. You feel like hell before the gig even starts.

    11. The waitress is your daughter

    12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers

    13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats

    14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case

    15. You refuse to play without earplugs

    16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30

    17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig

    18. Your gig stool has a back

    19. You're related to at least one member in the band

    20. You don't let any one sit in

    21. You need a nap before the gig

    22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.

    23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lay down

    24. You prefer a music stand with a light

    25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon

    26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever.

    27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor.

    28. You feel guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're younger than your daughter.

    29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location

    30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it!




    Easy Cheapo gig set:
    Gretsch Catalina Club Jazz, Mahogany; ultra portable 4 piece in custom DIY flame sparkle wrap.

  • #2
    A couple? Sheeesh... probably a dozen for me.
    Alan
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    website | youtube | facebook | group | newsletter | message | recommendations

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    • #3
      Man I'm just starting and some of these things already apply to me.
      sigpic

      http://www.silverdragonsound.com

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      • #4
        Those are great!

        And 13 apply to me.

        We actually had several conversations about hiring a roadie! And the sad thing is that we used to have roadies.

        But the guitarists son and his friends graduated high school, and went away to college.
        Immensely powerful yet with a liquid cat-quick elegance

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        • #5
          Oh yeah, I'm livin' it! The band leader was my band leader in 1988-89-90. His kids are now the bass player and keyboard player and they are in their mi-20's. They were just little kids back in the day.

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          • #6
            I'd say you're too old to play gigs when...

            ...you find yourself in a cover band...

            ...doing Bach, Schubert, Tchaichovsky, Stravinski - and the occasional "New Wave" Glenn Miller or Dorsey Brothers tunes.


            PS: And, also realize that yours is the only instrument needing electricity.
            Hart Pro 6.4 (Hammered Chrome), Roland TD-8, Gibraltar Throne w/ Backrest, Tama Iron Cobra Bass Pedal, ALTEC A7-500 "Voice of the Theatre" Speaker/Horn System with Sunn Concert Slave amp and lot of other audio stuff, Sony MDR-7506 Headphones, Zildjian DipSticks - and Czech Skorpian, Heckler & Koch MP5, etc Submachine Guns to stick out the window behind my kit for some quite unique fills...

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            • #7
              you're too old to play gigs when...

              1. you become fussy about cleaning your gear

              2. the collective age of the other band members matches yours...

              3. you get exited about the Rolling Stones "new" songs..


              http://vdrums.com/forum/showthread.p...760#post301760
              :cool:
              ;)

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              • #8
                You're too old to play gigs when...

                > You take a short break every 20 minutes or so in order to allow to take a quick leak.
                > Your gig doesn't start until your arthritis medication kicks in.
                > The free party buffet is one of the highlights of the gig.
                > It's a wedding reception and a request for "Daddy's Little Girl" brings a tear to your eye.
                > Young girls say, "Excuse me Sir!" when making a song request.
                > You refer to yourself as an "Oldies," "Nostalgia," or "Tribute" band.
                > "YMCA" and "We've Only Just Begun" are on your band's Demo CD.
                > You restrict your bookings on just two weekends out of every month.
                > You wait to buy new strings or sticks until your pension check arrives.
                Last edited by Ixoye3; 04-21-08, 08:51 PM.

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                • #9
                  28. You feel guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're younger than your daughter.

                  I don't have a daughter that age.
                  Lookin's free

                  I just like looking at all the goofy people ... so I don't feel so alone

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Very good!

                    Originally posted by Ixoye3 View Post
                    You're too old to play gigs when...

                    > You take a short break every 20 minutes or so you can take a quick leak.
                    > Your gig doesn't start until your arthritis medication kicks in.
                    > The free party buffet is one of the highlights of the gig.
                    > It's a wedding reception and a request for "Dad's Little Girl" brings a tear.
                    > Young girls say, "Excuse me Sir!" when making a song request.
                    > You refer to yourself as an "Oldies," "Nostalgia," or "Tribute" band.
                    > "YMCA" is on your band's Demo CD.
                    > You're only willing to do bookings on just two weekends a month.
                    > You wait to buy new strings or sticks until your pension check arrives.
                    LOL on the last one!

                    You know you're too old to gig when:

                    -You do a lot of drugs, but they're ALL prescription.
                    -You have to step back from your effects pedal bank so your gut doesn't block the view.
                    -The first question you ask when considering a venue is whether it has wheelchair access.
                    -Your reading specs are one of your most important pieces of equipment.
                    -When kids refer to the equipment you bought "just a few years ago" as "vintage".
                    -The photos from your latest gig are all ruined by the glare coming off the band members heads.
                    -Your coming string of appearances is billed as the "Steel Wheelchairs" tour.
                    -Your signature tune is "Talkin' 'bout My Degeneration".

                    I'll have more as I grow older...
                    Id rather be told the ugly truth than handed a pretty lie.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Was only talking about this very thing at a jam last week. It was evident that we are too old as the subject for the night was all about irritable bowl syndrome, back pain and some other back end problems. This was all being talked about over a nice hot coffee whilst sitting on bar stools that the bass player needs co's his back gets sore when standing.... Oh well I have plenty space on my drum rack for a cholostomy bag to hang if needed

                      Mardy

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Black Widow View Post
                        Oh well I have plenty space on my drum rack for a cholostomy bag to hang if needed
                        ... no pics required of that kit when/if that happens ...
                        TD-12S (black), PD-125, CY-15R, Tama/Pearl HW

                        "The words I don't know could fill a dictionary"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by stickinthemud View Post
                          ...I'll have more as I grow older...
                          I had more - but I forgot them.
                          Hart Pro 6.4 (Hammered Chrome), Roland TD-8, Gibraltar Throne w/ Backrest, Tama Iron Cobra Bass Pedal, ALTEC A7-500 "Voice of the Theatre" Speaker/Horn System with Sunn Concert Slave amp and lot of other audio stuff, Sony MDR-7506 Headphones, Zildjian DipSticks - and Czech Skorpian, Heckler & Koch MP5, etc Submachine Guns to stick out the window behind my kit for some quite unique fills...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            You're ALMOST too old to gig when you panic at the start of every song and say "Oh crap! How does that one go again?"

                            I say almost because that is me and i am not quitting.
                            Stuff to hit

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                            • #15
                              I could have ticked most of these boxes at 40.

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