kicking out members?

[dion]

i know this is probally an inapropriate post for this sight but, im in a band and the majority of us want to get rid of one of our members. we all feel bad for the person because this band is there life and they have nothing else. we feel that it is best for the rest of us and the band if we were without them. what is an easy/gentle way to get rid of a band member?? thanks

[puttenvr]

Dion

One post in one forum is enough !

No need to post this in technical, products, general and .... where ever you also posted it

[jrcel]

The best thing for everyone involved is complete honesty. Lay out the exact reason for the fireing, tell the person you will help them secure work in any way you can, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, you had creative differences with you former bandmate. Do quickly and cleanly, remenber it's not your fault he/she got themselves fired.

[ADD]

Just stop telling them when practice is or give them the wrong day. Tell them the wrong bar or club that you are playing at. Above all don't give them any money you might be receiving. It'll work itself out.

[rudi-mint]

Just be honest! I know that's the hard way to do it, but in the end the person will respect you more. Also, in my many years of experience, I have learned not to burn bridges. If you truly feel bad for this person, you owe it to them to be honest.

Crap! that sounded like a bad episode of Opra.

Kurt

P.S. If that doesn't work, tell the person that you guys are all quiting, then start a new band without him/her.

[rus]

"... citing 'artistic differences' the band broke up in May, and in June reformed without me, and they'd got a different name... "

Ben Folds Five

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[This message has been edited by rus (edited January 22, 2001).]

[Oz DrumR]

Ah... That explains the little growling red guy then rus?!

[RonBon]

You guys ever been fired? It sucks, but you get over it. I have 3 stories so I'll try to be brief.

1. When I was young, 18 or so, my drum teacher told me that I should join a band to further my study. I was awful and they never should have picked me to start with. They finally moved on with out me. They were up front and honest. They just sat me down and said they were going to look for someone else. We are still friends today. I've even sat in with them.

2. When the kids came I packed them up for about 4 years. I got a call from some guys I had jammed with a while. They were gigging now and wanted to get rid of their drummer. I told them I hadn't played in a while and didn't know if I could get tight in time for their next gig. They canned their old drummer and we practiced daily for a week. Yeah, I was rusty. One day a guy came by to listen.(Friend of the singer)They asked during a break if he could play a tune. I'm a nice guy, so I said sure and ran to the store for some drinks. When I got back practice had ended. When I got home the next day there was a message on the machine from the singers wife(of all people) saying that the friend was really trying out and that they were going to go with him.
Now I don't begrudge them for going with someone else. We were under a tight deadline and I had a limited time to learn the tunes much less get my chops back, but those p*ssies didn't have the decency to tell me themselves. I lost all respect for them immediately.

3. I was in a band and we came to the conclusion that the bass player had to go. He wasn't talented enough to overcome some issues he had. I was picked to give the speech. I called him and asked if I could come over to HIS house. I sat him down and told him the truth. I didn't get personal. I didn't let the conversation explode. I kept it very business like. No BS. He thanked me and asked what he could have done differently. I took this as an opportunity to tell him where he could improve. He took the rejection to heart. He got his act together. He became my best friend and we now work together even today.

FWIW

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RonBon

[EdgeCrusher]

fortunately, i didn't join any bands till i knew i'd be the best for the job. But its unfortunate that not everybody does the same..I've been part of the big conspiracy to kick other members out. Its not fun, and sometimes people take it too far. There's isn't really an appropriate way to tell somebody their out of a band..especially if they're really involved or into it. But my honest and best advice would to stay cool and always remain friends with the person..because..you NEVER know what will happen further down the road.

Actually, i'd like to go back and describe one story which proves my point...When I was 13 or 14 i recorded a little demo tape with a bunch of friends..we got an older teacher/friend to record us and help us out..when we were finally done recording he told me straight out that "i just didn't have it", and "i needed work". So i worked my ass off practicing and whatnot, and its funny because 3 years later i would be playing shows every weekend while he worked at his crummy retail job all day...and i actually sat in for him....go figure....dont be a rockstar..be nice to everybody u know. even if they suck at music.

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hit harder???