I lost my band...

[Macarina]

I lost my band... I didn't really LOSE my band, it's just when I go to practice, nobody's there.
(Nod to Bobcat Goldthwait)

No seriously, the band I've been faithfully practicing with for 21 months, suddenly dissolved. I don't understand what happened. I'm confused, frustrated, pissed and every other emotion. In fact this next weekend was going to be the premiere introduction. We were going to have a fairly heavily attended family and friends gig next to a lake (Rock the Dock).


We did have an issue with the singer for the first time not telling us he could not make practice, but apparently it festered in the guitarist mind and he sent out an email a few days later to tell us it's over.

I have put a lot of thought these last couple weeks into what I need and want musically.
I spend apx 2 hrs daily going over the stuff we do and another 4 hours on wed at practice and feel I'm not growing as a guitarist,just maintaining.
As sorry as I am to say it Im done with the cover tune band thing and any band at all for that matter.
I am taking a break for the first time in 25 years and looking forward to it.
Wed is still open to get together to pick up stuff etc. Sorry to let you guys down.

This totally blindsided me. These guys asked me 21 months ago to join them despite me not touching drums in 25+ years. I felt so lucky & blessed. Immediately I bought a Roland TD-15K and the guys loved it. Started off rough. Plenty of challenges with their choice in music, but I improved.

So yes, I'm frustrated and pissed, but I need to focus on next steps. I'm not going to let those emotions dominate me. I'm going to let my passion for music inspire me. I'm currently thinking of different ways to find a band or create a band. I will thank my past band for the opportunity.

So this is really to catch you guys up. I've talked quit a bit about my excitement on gigs and performing and all things related. That will have to be pushed back some, until I get back in the game. Wish me luck.

I'm open to suggestions on next steps.

[fulrmr(Daniel)]

Sucks. Well first thing you need to do is notify whoever is in charge of the "gathering" that you were to play for, and tell them that you wont be coming...next...take a breath and search for more musicians(maybe even the left overs from your current band) with like minded tastes and goals as yours. Patience will be the key here. Don't give up and keep on practicing.

[KennyinDundee]

Look at it and a positive. As Daniel said...see if there are any band members of the same mindset and strata new band.

[jimorlando]

I think Daniel right. Maybe the rest of the band wants to stay together. Good luck.

[jonm42]

Hang in there! Keep drumming!

[hemiboy]

Who knows , maybe something better will come along and you just had to go over this bumpy road to get there!

[Kenster]

I agree. Keep those still interested and replace the others. Maybe the members need to discuss this before you start up so that anyone on the fence have a chance to say something and not let it fester like a douche. Welcome to the band biz....this is called band drama and every band gets some. It's been that way for decades. Good luck' K

[John.b]

You lost your band !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im not giving you another one. Seriously though, I played in varies bands for over 30 years and know that if the **** is going to happen it happens at the worst possible time. The singer, keyboard player whatever dose'nt turn up cause he's found a better gig, or band !!!!!!! **** happens. You just have to learn to take it in your stride. Even if it means rehearsing all night to fit several new guys in. I must admit though I'm talking about an era long ago when everybody played something and were dying to get into a regular band.

[BWaj]

Sucks but welcome to being a musician. Keep trying to find the right players, even when you do, they'll piss you off, lol. It's a hard biz, but the rewards are worth it so long as you love it.

[eric_B]

Hi Macarina, Sorry to hear about that, I hope you'll soon find a new band or other way to keep you drumming. Do consider posts that you'll find another or even better band soon within your context - it's easy in some parts of the world, not in other. I speak from experience.

[Kenster]

Any updates? Is the OP still rocking?
K

[Macarina]

I'm here, I'm here.

The latest is, I talked to the bass player, long time friend, who announced to me the other day, he too is hanging it up. I think there is some personal stuff going on with his wife and this is actually an opportunity.I'm not mad any longer. I figure it's part of the music scene. I just hope I learn something from this breakup.

So..... I still practice every day for about an hour. Trying new songs and styles.

Plan B is to seriously look for a new band... after I get back from vacation. I'm going to be out about 10 days. If I was fortunate to find something right away, I didn't want to throw the 'absence' at the band right away.

So far I've 'subscribed' to Bandmix which I'm discovering has some real major hurdles. I'm not going to 'join' (unless you guys think it's worth it) to the Premiere package @ $10/month. I have been able to put my contact information, despite Bandmix doing everything it can to stop that. Are there other alternatives to something like Bandmix?

I've written an ad to put into craigslist. I've worded it in a way to be open, yet allude to some criteria (age, music interests, etc) that benefit me. I don't want to waste my time. I can post my draft, if your interested.
From what I can tell, I want to put the ad into Community and Gigs.

I live in a pretty big town, so I'm hoping for the best. I've heard open mic nights may open up a few doors, but as much as I would like to attend, I believe, that would put stress on the ol marriage.

[Kenster]

Just my 2 cents.....not sure how effective your own ad as a "drummer available" will be. I was in your boat last year and rather than place my own ad first, I scanned the band ads who were looking for a drummer right away and responded to a few of those with success. I posted a tongue in cheek article on Cragislist about what to watch out for when looking for/auditioning a drummer, folks found it amusing. My point is, be prepared to be amused and confused by what you find. If you're in a big town, then there will be some bands that are seriously looking for a gigging drummer. I found a lot of those same bands kind of lazy because on either side of their ads on Craigslist are tons of "drummer available" ads...like the bands don't even see them. It's almost mind numbing to see a band ad saying "Need a real drummer now" and then 15 ads right after all saying "drummer available". How these two groups don't see each other is beyond me.

My conclusion is, they don't. They (bands looking for a drummer) are too lazy or too busy to be hunting down talent, they would rather sit back and let everyone come to them, begging for a job, doing all the work as far as contacting, setting up audition slots, and actually auditioning. I'm not calling all bands lazy, just making an observation about people in general always taking the path of least resistance, and in this case, musicians will do that as well. It's far easier for you to come to them and promote yourself and your A game, rather than the band to call the bazillion "drummer available" ads only to find that most don't fit their needs for one reason or another.

Again, just my opinions and experiences, YMMV. I am wishing you best of luck in finding the band that fits best for you! Keep on rocking my friend!

K ;-)

[Macarina]

Bandmix, I amfinding people I would like to contact. I also notice people looking at my profile. Now looking at their profile, some are very good possibilities. Could I somehow use craigslist? I was thinking I could post specific ads in craigslist aimed at those people (on Bandmix) (Briefly describe why we should at least talk)breath away from at least starting a conversation.

[Kenster]

I'm not familiar with BandMix but I know tons of folks use Craigslist...it's quick and FREE. Pros and novices alike are all over CL.
K